Well, it has been some time since I have posted something and today it just felt like it was time.
I have been having profound feelings lately around what my life style has taught me. In the past several years, my life has gone through dramatic changes: living in China for a while and then Toronto. During both of those periods, I spent huge amounts of time alone- alone in a way that is different than spending time alone at home knowing you could break that by sharing coffee with a friend by just making a phone call. When I was in these countries, my nearest and dearest was my nearest and dearest- my husband and my art. Thankfully, my husband would come through the door at some point in the evening after a long day, and we would share our experiences of the day. But from the early hours of the morning to when he would return, I would find myself a stranger in a strange land, so to speak, and hence I discovered so much about myself that could only come to light with so much solitude. I forged an even closer relationship to my artwork and my process of making art.
Without getting into all the discoveries I gleaned, I wanted to write about something powerful I discovered that I understand now because I have energetically felt the power of this discovery to be true. I now understand and believe in the power of keeping one's ideas and future creative projects to one's self.
This may not seem all that new to you as you read this and the notion was not new to me either. I had read and heard the idea that it was "bad luck" to share too much about what one wants to create, but it seemed so superstitious to me and therefor not real.
Because I have approached my daily life differently in Toronto and created a total focus on my work I could feel a certain amt. of power leave when I would discuss my plans for the artwork with others. I realized that I was energetically trying to prove something - my worthiness and intelligence around my work, perhaps, and that need just simply has stopped. I am so incredibly grateful for this realization to have entered my awareness because I now have a trust between me and my work that was infringed upon by my need to share and prove to others. There is a relationship that exists between the artwork and the artists that is sacred- like a spouse or dear friend and I now believe the dance of proving the artwork's value gets in the way of the essence of trust and love that is there. Perhaps the "bad luck" is that leaking energy or broken trust between the artist and the art and by not proving and just letting the art show itself the beauty and true essence of the work shines all the more brilliantly.