Sometimes I just look at the work that I am doing and ask myself,is it really just crap? Am I fooling myself in thinking this might be good? Do my friends and supporters really like what they see or are they just being nice? Other times I am so sure of what I am creating that those lame questions don't dare creep in. It is hard, though. I mean, feeling secure in what I am making while awaiting more outward success and acceptance for what I submit to shows and galleries.
I have read how belief in yourself is paramount to success, and I believe that is true, and I believe in myself enough to continue to make art and put it out there year after year, but sometimes we need more, no? A phone call from a gallery of interest or a sale.....that magical opportunity from out of the blue...
Being patient is a constant goal and I thank God that the act of making art makes the questioning thoughts all disappear.
I imagine most artists grapple with this narcissism off an on. We are our own bosses, our own choice makers and unless we are making commissioned artwork, our own visionaries that reach out to the void grasping at inspiration and form. Of course I make art out of inspiration and an inner need but I want to be successful at selling it as well. I will not pretend that I am some purist who does not wish for that part of the equation. You have to make the art as if you don't care about the sale- yet it is that second part that helps to validate, that part that clings on and is the karmic payback for the output, faith and love for what I do. The love is not diminished by the need to sell. They are separate but like conjoined twins both needing nourishment and validation and dependant on each other for life of the whole.